Surviving the death of a loved one

The worst enemy of humankind is death. It does not select but affects all alike. Death takes away babies from the mother’s arms; mothers are snatched away as they deliver ‘helpless’ babies into this world; toddlers oblivious to any bad thing are taken as well; parents with four children under their care are not spared; the groom on his way to the marriage alter; the ‘just-graduated young man – death is no respecter of persons. In this day and age so many of us, if not all, have experienced this painful and dreadful working of death. It is how we handle it that makes the difference and impacts on the quality of life to follow.

There are widows that are making it in life better than those that are married, orphans that are succeeding without parents, aged parents who lost their children but are still healthy and going strong. When a loved one dies, it should not be viewed as the end of the world but rather as the beginning of a new way of life without that particular loved one. It can be difficult to adjust but the reality is that life has to go on without the one you loved so dearly.

Crying and mourning will help us release the pain but will not bring back the deceased. You will go through the grieving process but after that you have to get up and move on ahead with life. Some people actually feel guilty when this pain subsides or when somewhere along the line they find themselves smiling. They feel they as though they have betrayed the deceased should they move on with life. You need to release yourself from such ties. Even in marriage we vow ‘till death do us part;” do not feel guilty if you find love and remarry after the death of your spouse.

To help you come to terms with death, you can turn to the Bible. Jesus tells us He will send a ‘Comforter’ to help us bear the pain. Go to Him and surrender yourself. Tell Him what you are going through and He will help you carry the burden.

When I lost my baby, I found encouragement in knowing that the Lord regards this death as sleeping (John 11:11-14); and when He comes again, when “in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound and the dead shall be raised incorruptible (including my baby), and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption; and this mortal must put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, ‘Death is swallowed up in victory.’ O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” 1 Corinthians 15:52-55. I find encouragement that we shall surely meet and live a life where there is no death and no pain. I just have to avail myself for this blessed life for it is only available to those who believe in Jesus. John 3:16

My friend, as painful as it is, find encouragement in knowing that God cares for you even in you unique situation of life and one day we will be reunited with our beloved ones who have died.

God bless you.